Müllcontainerotica: Wie schmutzig sind Sie?

Hello, my German friends! I have a secret shame to share with you. It's called the Beige Bar of Shame.

When you write and publish an eBook on Amazon.com/.uk/.de, you receive a report that tallies your monthly sales. A beige bar appears when you've made ZERO sales for one of the three sites.

It's a very sad beige bar. It says "There are no sales to report during this period."

It is a Beige Bar of Shame, or BBoS. My secret shame.

Meine freunden. Ich spreche ein bission Deutsche. Bitte, bitte, kaufen mein bucher.

See? I did that WITHOUT Google translate. Can you believe it? I'm so cultured. Thomas Mann would be impressed, no?

So far, not ONE GERMAN has bought a copy of Dumpsterotica: How Dirty Are You? Yet I've heard that Germans can be pretty...quirky. Kinky. Dirty, even.

So where are you? Prove yourselves!

Dumpsterotica is multilingual. Yes, it involves many, many tongues. :P :P :P

So check it out! Müllcontainerotica: Wie schmutzig sind Sie?

Tschüss!

Dumpster Diving. Literally.

Not only do people have sex in them, but some people convert dumpsters into self-contained swimming pools. The New York Times covered the dumpster pool phenomenon. Urban renewal at its finest (and coolest).

Buy Dumpsterotica: How Dirty Are You? Now for $.99!

It's alive! It's alive!

Dumpsterotica: How Dirty Are You? on Kindle.

In all its stinky, luscious glory.

You know you want to read it to find out just how dirty are you...

Go for it. Shhh...I won't tell. ;)

Sex in Dumpsters on Facebook

Ahahahahaha! Love it! "Like" the page!

But Enough About You

So here's a little about me:

Allie Beck's passion is writing. She knew she wanted to be a writer when she was in second grade and published a poem in her elementary school newsletter titled: “Kierkegaard's Revenge: Reflections of Nietzsche in Barth's Work.” She came up with the idea for Dumpsterotica after watching two skunks eating a John Edwards campaign poster out of a garbage can. Beck lives in a New England town known as a refugee point for accused witches and in her spare time sells Baby Jesus Butt Plugs to raise money for The Westboro Baptist Church. She does not own an electric toothbrush of any kind.

Here's a free erotica story with a character in a dumpster!

It's not quite the same as Dumpsterotica, but it got me excited!

Jill Myles is serving up a prequel to her Succubus Diaries series - and the main character spends some time in a dumpster. Happy reading!

Foreplay, by Jill Myles

Dumpsterotica: How Dirty Are You? Sample

The first story in the erotic comedy series, Dumpsterotica, goes out on Kindle/Nook/Smashwords June 10-11.

Here's a sample from "How Dirty Are You?" Happy filthy reading ;)

It all had to start with a bottle of champagne. Not just any champagne, and not just the right bottle of champagne. It had to be a bottle of champagne expensive enough to get her to fuck Joe.

If he was lucky, Marcia would be in the mood once a month. But a bottle of Taittinger – and it had to be over $100 – was good for at least one or two rounds of sex on any given night.

Lately, though, even the champagne wasn't cutting it. He had to combine it with a really nice restaurant. And really nice as in – bend over and shit $100 bills. Joe sighed and made a reservation for seven o'clock on a Saturday at the new French-Thai fusion place he read about in a friend's Tweet. He called Marcia at work to tell her about the reservation for dinner. She wasn't at her desk, so he left a voicemail message.

* * *

Marcia wasn't at her desk to answer Joe's call because she was in the bathroom masturbating. Most women prefer to keep the skin on their clitoris, but Marcia didn't much care anymore. The head of her electric toothbrush faced away from her clit most of the time, though, and the vibrations were finally clearing her mind. No more thoughts of benefits packages and coworker complaints about harassment or body odor-challenged colleagues. Licking her fingers, she touched herself to lubricate and felt her hard nub. Rocking her hips lightly against the toothbrush, she caught the tight rhythm that would make the tension go away.

Warmth flooded her pussy and her labia ballooned, throbbing and hot now and so wet that the head of the toothbrush slipped, tangling with her pubic hair. The hair tugging felt good, adding a jolt of exciting pain as she put the vibration back where it belonged, her clit suddenly catching exactly what it needed. Inner thigh muscles screamed, strong and hot as red steel as she came and came and came, her hips curving up and in at the exact moment she plunged the spinning toothbrush head inside her vagina, the soft bristles scrubbing her g-spot. Through gritted teeth she let a low moan escape as she looked at the ceiling and bucked against the toothbrush as if she were riding a mechanical bull, careful to hold the handle firmly.

Experience had taught her that the vagina can be a vacuum at the most inopportune of moments, and a few years ago she'd paid a $3,000 emergency room bill out of pocket to avoid having the charge appear on her insurance, where her colleagues in Human Resources might have seen the claim. The damage to her cervix had been minimal but she had become a legend on ER doctor Internet forums, know as “Vagina Dentata.”

Marcia masturbated at work every day because it was the only way she could come.